blog dating

I love the name of the site. I hate the thought of combining my blog with a dating profile. Do you want your date to read your rant about your last date?

I don’t think so… unless you’re a lonely blogger.

just woke up

…and can you imagine what a horrible thought crossed my mind?

How bad is it if you would like to apologize to someone, but know that you would only be offensive?

Sadly recent events have confirmed me in those thoughts (note : I am NOT upset with Grumpy, nor Jill). My (second) comment in that thread referred to me knowing that Grumpy somehow was going to be lynched when I read the post.

Was he offensive, or mean? No he just posted his thoughts, but seemed to have forgotten that the sharks where coming after him.

Cliques.

Work behind the scene in b’land. Blind and compulsive adoration of your favourite daily reads.

Weeks ago, when I wanted to write something, I knew I’ld run that risk.

I shuttup.

It only made me feel worse. And I still want to apologize to a certain person. My heart tells me to.

My brain tells me suck it up and move on. Because someone has leeched everything out of me. To drop me stonecold afterwards.

Self-censor saved me from getting lynched. Probably getting lynched by regular lurkers even.

Blind adoration.

I am jabbering. I need coffee.

PS : Grumpy, if you were to take my comment badly, I hope this entry explains it totally wasn’t meant that way, but I have no mail addy from you.

google blogs and life

One year in the blogosphere, more and more I see people living a blogger burn, and no I don’t mean being tired of blogging.

What do I mean? Many bloggers one day seem to enjoy their blog that much, especially the popularity found in the comments, that their life becomes the slave of their blog. Considered they had/have a life of course.

Many blogs, even personal ones, soon take a certain direction, a direction loved by the audience and commenters and popularity, obligating the blogger to keep up with the blog-set-pace, attitude and lifestyle.

Writing for an/your audience.

Soon the blogger realizes that her/his personal, private life suffers severely under this. What to do? Drop the blog?

And the popularity?

How many people are lonely without blog?

I know several ones. I read them daily.

Do they have time for an active life, posting and commenting on other blogs all day long?

I dare you.

just a friend i think

I announced it and really want to write about. So here we go. Maybe a classic disclaimer first off?

Yes I am aware of that most people (read: men) would do anything to live following and I keep repeating myself exactly this, but still.

So M. and I recently met. We actually do know each other since some years already, but picked up contact again several months ago. During these months our friendship has grown and surely become very intensive. Although she lives in Germany, and I here in the UK, I was there for her when she broke up with her ex after almost two years and she has always supported me throughout everything that has happened to me lately. As we have been helping each other we have become the closest friends one could imagine. I can’t think I have been that open and honest with someone lately, in my life actually.

There is a common factor : we have no expectations from our friendship and leave another totally free. Distance and true friends seem to make this easy. But last weeks something has changed.

I think I should provide some more background info. One thing in our friendship has always been present. Erotica. I write erotica and M. likes to show (pictures). Wrong thoughts you pervs! I said erotica and not porn. Keep the word mystical in mind you dorks! A game which has been going on since quite some time actually.
Maybe I’ld also tell you that M. bisexual is. Passively bisexual, meaning she is very inexperienced and also doubtful in her bisexuality.

One evening while we were chatting she is teasing me and sends me, a standard game between us, some pictures. Among them, pictures of another woman. A beautiful woman!

I ask her who she is and she tells me it is the only woman she ever had something with. We spoke about her experience with S. and at the end I said her they should get in touch again. I love it when me friends pursue what they might enjoy.

M. and S. were going to meet the same weekend. From that day our contact intensified even more. We both started to behave differently, although I couldn’t say how. One just felt it. On Friday when M. and S. meet, it didn’t take 1 hour before they came online. Since that day, almost every time they were together, we have chatted… the three of us. Sometimes also in conference.

Last weekend M. and I spoke about S. I discovered that I had been the main topic on their date the day before. Soon M. told me that she was sure we would all three get on very well. Do I need to draw a picture here? Too bad, I can’t draw.

Very well meaning we would be together all three but still free and sometimes only two. Freedom, but together. A triangle. Sounds like a dream doesn’t it?

Sadly I don’t live, feel it this way. M. and I were going to spend a weekend together in some weeks (I had recently booked a week of vacation for other but not appropriate purposes anymore). I would stay at hers. It was clear that the friendship was most important, but also there were no doubts about what would happen. Now the situation is totally different. Will S. also be there? All weekend? Or not.

Will this become something or is this enough of material to destroy a friendship. Only time can tell. And no I am not whining, I know most men are jealous now and I’ll surely enjoy it. :-P

shall they stay friends

1992 : The German Army is allowed to participate at International Peace Missions.

Iraq was the only mission intervention Germany didn’t participate at since 1992.

Bush and Gerhard Schroeder had a rough time after this. Angela Merkel openly always has been a good friend of George W. Bush.

Washington Post : …the Bush administration sees diplomacy as something to be engaged in with another country as a reward for that country’s good behavior… We only talk to our friends

In case if… will they still be as good friends?

[inspiration]

fun i know

The funniest thing about this side blog is that I already know this is going to be fun. I am sure I will enjoy it to type down some of the things going through my head, but I won’t take any responsability for any form of psychological damage done.

This blog might become opinionated. I don’t know yet if that is a good thing. ;-)

another daily routine one

Every weekday I look forward to finish my day job. Who doesn’t? Grabbing your stuff, leave the place and go home. Enjoy your own space and relax.

Sadly last hasn’t really been the case last months anymore. As soon as I come home, I make myself another coffee and start reading some blogs, try to comment a little although I mostly lurk (I don’t comment if I got nothing to say) and then I dig into design ebooks. Or rip CSS files apart. After some hours I start working at clients designs. Till late at night.

Sad? Pathetic? Maybe, but I am passionate about learning design and becoming good. Most of time somewhen, late at night, one of my friends pops up in IM and that is my own time then. Nothing more, nothing less.

One day I’ll stop being a workaholic, watch more brain death TV and just sit on the couch and relax.

One day …

hankering to blog

I am at work and pretty caffeine overloaded already. Like every Monday morning after only 3 hours of sleep. I really want to get rid of some things that are crossing my mind right now, but work keeps me too busy to blog. Even too busy to get rid of some quick blurbs.

One year ago, when I started blogging I would never have imagined I’ld hanker this much to blog one day. Hopefully I’ll manage this afternoon to post something more sensical. As well here as on my main blog.

And if now I would understand why the feed of my regular blog does’t get displayed properly in the sidebar I would have one sorrow less. Solved, I had to use the FeedBurner URI and not the WP one which gets redirected. Sucks a little, but’ll do. Besides… who cares? Except me?